“I’m so glad to meet you.” I turned to find a woman my age, hand extended. She was polished and poised, well-dressed and attractive. Perfect face and form, beautiful skin, engaging smile; she looked both professional and successful.
I took her hand and smiled. “Thank you for being part of our 3ABN Family.” It was sincere, but expected. One of those things you say, almost without thinking. We are always grateful to meet our 3ABN Family, those who watch and are blessed by this ministry, from around the world. Sometimes, though, the words can become routine.
She smiled, while a fleeting shadow crossed her face. Her eyes dropped to the floor. “3ABN has literally saved my life.” Impulsively, I reached out and hugged her. She clung to me tightly, almost afraid to let me go. “I am suicidal, everyday” she whispered into my hair. “The only thing that gets me through is I turn on 3ABN and am somehow enabled to live one more day.”
I pulled back and looked deep into her eyes, as the tears spilled over and splashed onto her cheeks. What should I say? How could such a professional, polished woman, one who seemed to have her whole life together, be so broken? How can looks be so deceiving?
We prayed together, while my heart broke for her pain. Why are words so inadequate at a time like this? After one more hug, I turned to greet someone else.
He alone knows our battles, the unanswered questions and doubts.
Later, we left the church, while my soul felt numb. Did I say the right thing? Was it enough? Would it fill what she needed and point her to Jesus? We crossed the parking lot with some of our team, ready to jump in the van and head back to the hotel. Just before I reached the van, a woman called out, “Jill, would you come here?” Glancing over, I saw a young woman, sitting in a car, window rolled down.
Approaching the car, I saw immediately she’d been crying. “I came here today because I needed prayer. Yet, I just sat in the car, afraid to go in, and then you walked by. God answered my prayer!” The timing astounded me. He knew the pain in this woman’s heart; He alone knew her battles, the unanswered questions and doubts. He knew her fear to go into the church, and He arranged it perfectly so our paths would cross.
As we prayed, my spirit of heaviness began to lift. Encouraging others isn’t dependent on me. I can’t fix any problems; I can’t heal others pain. I’m not even responsible for the outcome. My job is to walk with Jesus, trusting that He knows the how, the when, the why. Trusting that He can use me, in spite of my faults and failures, to speak a word in season. And He can use you, too. Not because we are special, but because He is faithful. After all, He is the God of love, and He alone brings healing.
