Q. My husband and I have worked for the United States government for more than 20 years in high-profile positions. He lost his job a few weeks ago—the first time in our marriage—in a very unexpected way. With two children who are undergraduate students, a pretty big mortgage, and many other expenses that depend on both our incomes, our marriage and family relationships are experiencing tremendous turmoil and emotional upheaval. What can we do to manage our current crisis and keep our family from falling apart?
A. In this season of unexpected change, Scripture reminds us that storms in life are inevitable, but God’s presence remains constant. Just as Jesus calmed the raging sea for His disciples, He walks with you through this turbulence. Isaiah 43:2 reminds us: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.” Your faith provides an anchor that holds firm even when everything else seems uncertain.
The Psalms repeatedly show that honest expression of fear and frustration before God is not a lack of faith but rather an act of profound trust. Like David, you can bring your anxieties about mortgages, college expenses, and future security directly to the Lord, knowing He hears and responds with compassion.
Research consistently shows that couples who face financial hardships together, rather than as isolated individuals, demonstrate greater resilience and recover more quickly. This is your opportunity to model for your college-age children how a marriage partnership functions during adversity, not without struggle, but with united purpose.
Consider reaching out to your church family; others may have weathered similar storms. Financial downturns often reveal support networks we didn’t realize existed. Many congregations offer practical assistance alongside spiritual encouragement for families navigating employment transitions.
Our response to adversity often determines its lasting impact more than the adversity itself.
Our response to adversity often determines its lasting impact more than the adversity itself. When couples maintain open communication during financial stress, they not only solve practical problems more effectively but also protect their emotional bond.
Create space for both practical planning and emotional processing. Acknowledge feelings of loss or uncertainty without allowing them to define your outlook. Research shows that practicing gratitude—even for small blessings—can significantly improve psychological resilience during difficult transitions. Be mindful that when men lose their jobs, it tends to cause them tremendous psychological stress. So do your best to be gentle with and affirming to your husband, and pray especially for his peace of mind.
This sudden change may feel like a crisis, but viewed through the lens of faith, it might also be a crossroads—an opportunity to reinvent aspects of your family’s journey together. Your shared values and commitments—turning toward each other rather than away from each other—provide stability even when circumstances shift.
Remember that you have weathered difficulties before. The same God who has been faithful in past challenges remains present now, working all things together for good. As you lean on each other and on Him, you may discover new strengths and possibilities you never would have found on smoother paths.
We encourage you to remain faithful and mindful of the words of Psalm 37:1-3: “Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. . . . Trust in the Lord, and do good, dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” You will continue to be in our prayers.
