A phrase I use every now and then when discussing an issue with someone is “He who defines the terms wins the argument.” When debating a topic or trying to understand someone’s viewpoint, knowing how each party defines the key terms of the discussion is vital. Otherwise, you may debate an issue but talk about different things.
As I read through this week’s Sabbath school lesson, “God Loves Freely,” my first thought was to understand how the various Bible passages explained God’s love and its free bestowal. As I finished my study and contemplated the words “love” and “freely” and their symbiotic relationship, I asked myself if love can be anything but free. Is there any type of love other than one given freely? If His love were not free, maybe the lesson would have been titled with one of these options:
God Loves Reticently
God Bargains His love
God Trades His love
God’s Love Demands
God’s Love Commands us
God Loves Hesitantly
God Loves Reluctantly
Each one of these, to a greater or lesser extent, is the antithesis of God loving us freely. Each one sounds wrong, but at the same time, society conditions us so that we find it incredibly difficult to understand how anything can truly be free.
By studying how God loved Israel, we can see that He doesn’t just define the terms, telling us what loving freely means, but also exemplifies the terms.
What’s the catch?
When someone shares with you a good deal that sounds too good to be true, you may respond with, “What’s the catch?”, “What’s in the small print?”, “Even though it says it’s free, we know nothing is ever really free!” I believe this is one reason why the Bible instructs us to become like a little child. “Except ye be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3). Children have no problem accepting gifts, whether at church in Sabbath School class, at school from a friend or teacher, or at a family gathering from a relative or parents. Children are always ready to accept gifts. It’s the parents who get stressed out and anxious about the gifts their children receive. Now that a child has given your child a gift, you as the parent feel obligated to give them a present on their birthday. It’s the parents who keep track of who gives what at their child’s birthday party to know who to give presents back to. When someone offers to do something for us for free, it’s us adults who reply and say, “No, it’s ok, I am fine, thank you.” We respond this way not because we do not need the help but because we think that by accepting help, we are obligated to do something for the person in return.
God loves us regardless of whether we love Him back.
My wife’s grandma kept a book and wrote down exactly what others would give at weddings and special occasions to know what to give in return. Large gifts would be given in return to those who had given large gifts, and smaller gifts to those who made smaller gifts. It was a very organized and methodical way to approach the complex matter of accepting gifts.
The older we get, the less we seem able to accept something for free. Some say this is part of maturing and becoming a responsible adult, and in some ways, it might be. However, a sad effect is that it can taint and cloud our view of God and our ability to genuinely accept something freely. If we constantly tell ourselves and others that there is nothing free in this world and that if someone claims to give something for free, we better be careful because there will be a catch sooner or later, then this can distort how we view the character of God.
There is no catch
The way God gives freely also goes against how we, as adults, are taught to conduct ourselves and let others treat us. If someone is in a situation where the person they are loving constantly rejects that love, abuses it, and doesn’t value it, they would be told to remove themselves from the situation. A friend or family member would tell the person to have some self-respect and stop having their good intentions taken advantage of. Someone might sit them down and stress the importance of setting boundaries in life, that no matter how much they like someone, or no matter how much they see the good in someone, if that person persistently refuses to live up to that potential, it might be time to remove them from your life for good.
By definition, love gives freely and requires free will. Each party must voluntarily choose; anything else is not love. God put Himself in a relationship with our planet. This means His affection, love, and compassion are constantly shunned, rejected, and abused. God is not waiting for a suitable apology; He is not controlling or demanding. His love keeps flowing freely.
God’s love for Israel, demonstrated over the centuries, is vividly displayed throughout the Old Testament. Numerous times, His people turned their backs on Him. Kings such as Ahab worshipped Baal, and sun worship was performed inside the temple in Ezekiel’s time. Yet God’s love constantly flows. The prophet Hosea’s turbulent marriage to a harlot is a graphic, vivid, and intensely personal story given to illustrate how we treat God and His response—no bitterness, revenge, hatred, or rejection.
God’s dealings with Israel reveal two key aspects of freely given love. Ideally, God wants a reciprocal relationship where He freely loves us, and in return, we freely love Him. However, while we are free to love God, God loves us regardless of whether we love Him back. Nothing we can do would make God regret (1) having created us and (2) having created us with the ability to love. True love takes a risk, or it’s not true love, and God is love.
Kids love gifts. The joy they have at their birthday or Christmas is unrivaled. They have yet to have lives complicated by adulthood and knowing how to accept a gift. God’s love for us is free, no strings attached. God does not expect us to do anything to earn or repay that love but to accept it. It’s a demonstration of the character of God; His love reflects how He feels about us and how we should demonstrate His love to others.
