In an age of rapid change, confusing or shifting identity, and apathy to Christian values and commitments, few areas of our lives remain as embattled as that of marriage and the family. As the sanctity and purpose of marriage are being devalued, the nature of the internal dynamics of family relational encounters fluctuates, contributing to mental, emotional, and spiritual instability for individuals. At the same time, external stressors, such as socioeconomic challenges and pressure to keep up or conform to deluding cultural and technological entrapment, often leave many devoid of the resources necessary for wholistic well-being in marriage and family relationships. Both internal and external factors affect the functioning and welfare of individuals and families. While we all struggle to make sense of familial existential nuances, I believe looking beyond the daily visual toil to unseen cause and effect is necessary. Through the lens of the Christian worldview, the struggle individuals experience in marriage and family can be seen as an affront to the image and character of the Creator God.
The Divine-Human Encounter
Central to the Christian worldview of marriage and family is the belief that “marriage was divinely established in Eden” and is “to be a lifelong union between a man and a woman in loving companionship.” This union forms the family unit, and this “marriage commitment is to God as well as to [one another].”1 In essence, marriage and family are not only at the foundation of human history but also symbolically the foundation of the divine-human encounter. Beginning in the creation narrative, marriage and family are expressions of the image of God, which includes the relational attributes of the Godhead. In the beginning, God introduces Himself as the foundation of family, declaring, “Let Us make man” (Gen. 1:26). We see evidence of God creating both the man and the woman, blessing them, and giving them a purpose (Gen. 1:26-28).
The devil targets marriages and families as part of his strategy to undermine the Creator’s Lordship and plans for His creation.
Throughout Scripture familial terms such as “God as parent relating to the children of Israel, Christ as groom in relation to the church as bride, and the Holy Spirit indwelling and empowering believers to be brothers and sisters in the Lord”2 are used to illustrate the divine-human relationship. The establishment of marriage and the family unit became one of the crowning acts of God’s creation. Both the creation of the Sabbath day of rest and the establishment of marriage and family are instituted by God as emblems of His image and Lordship.
Lies and Deceptions: The Root of Sin and Brokenness
The embattlement of marriage and family over the years resulted from the Fall. When the first family came under siege by deception, lies, and entanglement in the blame game instituted by the devil, the family unit began to chafe under the burden of sin and brokenness. The institution of marriage and family was intended to promulgate the relational characteristic of the Godhead, engendering love, intimacy, and empowerment whereby individuals continually thrive and grow in the image of the Creator. But the union and unity of marriage and family were ruptured through devilish insinuations by the enemy of God.
Through distrust, deception, and disobedience, the trajectory of human flourishing disintegrated after the Fall (Gen. 3). The consequence of the Fall causes us, especially Christians, to be painfully aware that “all humanity is now involved in a great controversy between Christ and Satan regarding the character of God, His law, and His sovereignty over the universe.”3 This “conflict originated in heaven when a created being, endowed with freedom of choice, in self-exaltation became Satan, God’s adversary, and led into rebellion a portion of the angels.”4 Unfortunately, the great controversy is more than a cosmic saga between good and evil or between God and the devil. Sadly, it has become personally embedded in our hearts and continues in our world today through various encounters, but predominantly in the context of marriage and family relationships.
Christ has pronounced His favor and blessing on the institution of marriage and family.
A Ray of Hope for Marriage and Family
In the struggle between good and evil, the devil targets marriages and families as part of his strategy to undermine the Creator’s Lordship and plans for His creation. But the promise to put enmity between the arch deceiver and the first family and their offspring (Gen. 3:15) remains a ray of hope and an escape from the ominous clutch and fate of lies and deception. This ray of hope is frequently reiterated in the pages of Scripture(see Isa. 9:6; 56:7, 8; Eze. 34:26, 29-31; John 3:16; 17:17; Eph. 3:9-11; Rev. 21; 22) and throughout the ages and has been the foundation of reparation, reconciliation, and restoration in the midst of familial mayhem.
Now, as we endeavor to live simultaneously in the aftermath of this cosmic delusion, Christ’s redeeming act, and the promise of restoration, we do well to consider and embody the divine blueprint for marriage and family. Scripture repeatedly tells us that marriage is to reflect the union between Christ and His church. This divine mystery symbolizes the depth of God’s love and commitment to us individually and collectively as a church—His body—and is expressed through sacrificial love in His death on the cross. Christ’s demonstration of love and commitment is the model to be emulated within the context of marriage. Marriage and family relationships are to mirror the love, holiness, intimacy, and permanence of the relationship between Christ and His church and are to be built on mutual love, honor, respect, and responsibility. Yet, with the repercussions of sin and perpetuated brokenness across generations, this demonstration of Christlike love and commitment is often a challenge for many today.
Decrease Screen Time, Increase Family Time
Though marriage and family values are continually being diluted by shifting cultural and religious schisms, it is incumbent on us as Christians to unswervingly practice and hold fast to God’s ideal for marital and familial relationships. As we are guided by Scripture, we can begin to relinquish the cultural, religious, and spiritual apathy that minimizes or marginalizes the divine mandate for marriage and family. Our response as faithful followers of Jesus is to affirm the sacred embodiment of marriage and family while actively developing resources and contexts in which individuals may grow and thrive.
Despite the challenge to model Christlike love and commitment in marriage and relationships, we all can take hope in Christ’s promise to help us in times of need. A man and a woman who desire and endeavor to be committed to each other in marital union can experience loving unity through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the support and nurture of a caring faith community. Parents may take courage and seek guidance in God’s Word as they face the challenge of training their children for the glory of God. Christ has pronounced His favor and blessing on the institution of marriage and family, and He intended for the family unit to be a place in which individuals empower one another to become their best selves for the cause of the kingdom of God. Christ enables and assures us that He “will never leave [us] nor forsake [us]” (Heb. 13:5; Deut. 31:6) and that He will “save to the uttermost” (Heb. 7:25) as we continue to turn to Him in times of need.
One way in which individuals can surpass secular influences that minimize the sanctity and value of marriage and family relationships is by endeavoring to reduce screen time and increase family quality time together. We cannot deny that there are benefits tied to increased technology that, if used wisely, contribute positively to our existential well-being. Many individuals and families, however, know the painful effects of the misuse of technology. Family time is an invaluable resource with exponential benefits for healthy and lasting marriages and families, and we should prioritize quality family time.
The hustle and bustle that comes with multiple work assignments can supplant necessary times of family togetherness. But making time for family togetherness and bonding can simply begin during mealtimes. Additionally, parents are encouraged to “deny themselves some slight self-gratification in time and leisure, in order to mingle with [their] children.”5 For some families the moments before bedtime can benefit both parents and children as they take “pajama-bedtime story walks” around the neighborhood. The increased benefit of these moments is that parents get some exercise while nurturing faith and bonding with their children. When individuals and families endeavor to invest their time wisely for the glory of God and the empowerment of one another, the influence of the devil is weakened, the image of the Creator becomes more distinct, and God’s kingdom on earth becomes more like it is in heaven.
1 “Official Beliefs of the Seventh-day Adventist Church,” https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/.
2 Jack O. Balswick, Judith K. Balswick, and Thomas V. Frederick, The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home. 5th ed. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Academic, 2021), p. 6.
3 “Official Beliefs of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.”
4 Ibid.
5 Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home (Nashville: Southern Pub. Assn., 1952), p. 220.