What’s the greatest lesson from the 2024 U.S. presidential election? While numerous candidates (forgive the pun) abound, one strong possibility is this: Too many of us don’t know how to disagree agreeably.
To be fair, many Christians remained kind to their “enemies” throughout the election season. But many others did not. Biting sarcasm on many a Christian’s social media platform too often flourished, with disagreeing agreeably seemingly the last thing on their minds.
To be clear, I am not immune to the temptation to lampoon people I disagree with. But through the years (and after having to apologize too many times for my verbal intemperance), I have learned at least three things that have helped rein in my tongue, whether dealing with politicians or anyone I disagree with:
1. The desire to cut down another person says much more about me than them. The urge to diminish others often springs from fear: fear of appearing to be in the wrong, fear of others gaining power over us (political or relational), etc. Whatever the case, when the temptation to insult someone arises, I now ask myself: What am I afraid of? How come? What need am I not letting Christ fill? Jesus has promised that His “perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18, NIV), and stopping, praying, and asking for that gift has stopped many a diatribe from my lips or pen in its tracks.
I have learned at least three things that have helped rein in my tongue, whether dealing with politicians or anyone I disagree with.
2. It is possible to profoundly disagree with someone without insulting them. Disagreeing agreeably does not mean we never disagree! But disagreeing in Christ-honoring ways is an acquired skill. One way to get it is to find an empty/private space and try this: 1. Picture someone with whom you have profound disagreements. 2. Tell them, out loud, as though they were present, what you really think of them and their ideas. 3. Tell them again, but this time while visualizing Jesus at their side, pointing to you as a stellar example of His love for them. I have found at times that my language of disagreement has been transformed by such an exercise.
3. Love for those we disagree with can be one of the most difficult virtues for a Christian to acquire—and one of the most freeing. When the crucified Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34, KJV), it was a divine thunderclap, an astonishing counterpoint to the grinding hate Satan perpetuates to this day. The same love Christ had for His enemies is His gift to us—and an immensely freeing one. Why? Because in light of eternity, the only true weapon an enemy can have is fear. And as already mentioned, Christ’s perfect love casts that fear out. Those who love most are then, by definition, the most free—free to love their enemies . . . and even those who merely disagree with them.
The 2024 election was indeed a great learning experience. May we prove to be excellent students! And may those we disagree with be abundantly blessed by the wisdom we’ve gained.
