As the opening hymn is being sung, a young mother slips quietly into a back pew, grasping two small boys by the hand. One of the boys has apparent special needs, and members glance quickly at the child and then avert their eyes so as to not be caught staring. The mother spends the first half of the service attempting to entertain and quiet her little charges. The pastor has just launched into his sermon when suddenly the hush of the sanctuary is broken by the wails of the child with special needs in the back pew.
Trying Church
Some members of the church try to act as if nothing is happening and paste a smile on their faces as they keep their eyes glued on the pastor, who has increased the volume of his voice in order to be heard over the wailing child. Other members openly stare at the poor mother whose face has flushed a deep crimson and is attempting to wrangle the tantruming child out of the pew while prompting the other child to follow her. The mother finally succeeds in reaching the lobby of the church, from where the faint cries of the distraught child can still be heard through the double doors of the sanctuary.
The members of the church turn their attention back to the sermon and soon forget the uncomfortable scene. Meanwhile the young mother is in the mothers’ room having no success in consoling her distraught child. The other child is beginning to get bored and hungry and soon joins his voice with that of his brother. The exhausted mother admits defeat and with slumped shoulders exits the church. She vows never to put herself or her boys through such an experience again. Going to church is too much work, and why would she want to attend a church where not even one member made a move to assist in her moment of crisis?
An adult woman with special needs attends her local church with her parents. She loves going to church and eagerly looks forward to Sabbath mornings all week long. During the adult Sabbath School program she eagerly raises her hand to participate, but when she talks, she is difficult to understand. The other members shift uncomfortably in their chairs, having sudden interest in that spot on the far wall that has never been repainted since the water leak last fall.
After the service the woman with special needs has a habit of wanting to shake the hand of whoever is within striking distance. In an effort to avoid an uncomfortable encounter, most members choose to exit the sanctuary from the far door, so that they are well out of handshaking range. This woman simply makes them a bit uncomfortable with her different appearance, unusual noises, and uninhibited behavior. As a result, this family often feels isolated and spends the bare minimum amount of time at church.
A young man with significant hearing loss, whose primary language is American Sign Language, faithfully attends a small church. He smiles pleasantly at all the members and tries his best to communicate with them through gestures and writing. This labor-intensive mode of communicating is frustrating for all. Additionally, this mode of attempted communication limits the amount of engagement and quality interaction from all parties, which results in surface-level relationships. When the service starts, the young man sits up front and does his best to follow along with a service that he cannot hear. After several years of this, he attends in-person church less and less. It is easier for him to stay home and follow along with the service online, where he can access subtitles.
There are several key principles that can be applied to ensure that all who attend our churches feel loved, seen, appreciated, and valued as the children of God that they are.
A new family begins to attend a large and active church. They are eager to have their four children participate in all the excellent programming that is available. One day after potluck the mother of the family is speaking with a church leader’s wife. The mother mentions that she would like to enroll her tween daughter, who has special needs, in the Pathfinder program. The church leader’s wife makes an offhanded comment about how Pathfinders would not be accessible because of the child’s special needs. The conversation moves on, but the mother mourns inwardly and opts to enroll her child in programs outside the church that are willing to accommodate for special needs.
What Shall We Do?
Sadly, none of these stories are fictional. Interacting with, as well as accommodating for, individuals with special needs in our churches can be an overlooked and overwhelming topic to address. The example that Jesus set for us, however, leaves no room for doubt that every person, special needs or not, is of incredible value and is a vital member of the family of God (see 1 Cor. 12:12-27).
Throughout Christ’s ministry on earth He demonstrated a relational approach in which He modeled how to meet individuals where they are, whether that means kneeling in the dirt with a prostitute or having dinner with a rich tax collector. Numerous accounts throughout the Gospels provide evidence of the deep-seated concern and love that Jesus had for those who were sick or had some form of disability. As we strive in our respective lives and as a collective church to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, how can we do anything but lovingly embrace each and every person who walks through our church doors?
Although one article can only scratch the surface of such a complex and multifaceted subject, there are several key principles that can be applied to ensure that all who attend our churches feel loved, seen, appreciated, and valued as the children of God they are.
1. Use Special-Needs-Friendly Language
Unsure of where to begin in creating an atmosphere of love and inclusion for those with special needs? Small (or no) budget? If so, implementing the one simple step of using person-first language can not only create a climate of inclusion and respect, but generate momentum for subsequent positive changes. When we intentionally refer to those with special needs by always putting the person first and the diagnosis second, a message of respect is communicated. This simple switch in our language can provide a subtle but impactful shift in our perspective of those with special needs.
Here are some examples to get you started. Instead of saying, “There is that Down syndrome girl,” person-first language would be “There is that girl with Down syndrome.” Another example of this would be “We want to create an atmosphere of respect for individuals with special needs” versus “We want to create an atmosphere of respect for special-needs individuals.” Those with special needs are people before they are a diagnosis, so let’s refer to them as such.
It should go without saying, but is worth a mention, that all the terms we use to refer to those with special needs must be appropriate and nonderogatory. The most prudent manner in which to refer to a individual with special needs is by their name, but if the special-need status must be communicated, then it should be done utilizing the correct medical diagnosis or the all-encompassing term “special needs.” At all costs, we must avoid implying that the individual with special needs is “less than” because of their diagnosis.
Numerous accounts throughout the Gospels provide evidence of the deep-seated concern and love that Jesus had for those that were sick or had some form of disability.
2. Foster Relationships and Ask Questions
One of the crucial steps to creating a special-needs-friendly church environment is for members to seek to foster relationships with the families of and individuals with special needs. Only through developing such relationships can we truly learn how best to meet the distinctive needs of these persons. It is perfectly acceptable not to have all the answers on how to best serve individuals with special needs. Asking questions and starting dialogue is the key to forging the relationships necessary to understand how the needs of this population can best be met. When we take the time to truly acquaint ourselves with the individual with special needs, we begin to see them as a person, not just the differences that their special needs may cause. This relational approach allows us to develop empathy and react to differences with grace and love.
3. Adapting for Inclusivity
When we strive to have churches that incorporate each member into the body of Christ, there will be the opportunity to assess our current programming and perhaps even our facilities to make changes that will allow each member access to the services and activities of the church. Adapting for the intention of inclusivity may look like making physical changes to the building, providing interpreting services, or perhaps modifying curricula. Regardless, our role as the church body is to assist in breaking down the barriers that prevent the accessibility of our church and what it offers to a select few.
Creating an inclusive church is most likely going to require some form of sacrifice and use of resources. This might be in the form of monetary investments, time, or personal comfort and preferences. What a perfect opportunity for us, as a church, to lean on the endless wisdom and resources of our heavenly Father, who has called us to make disciples of all with no exclusionary terms provided.
Trying Again
Let’s return to the four true scenarios that we covered in the beginning. What if a church member had taken note of the young mother’s distress and offered a helping hand? It could have been as simple as saying, “Can I help you with anything?” Perhaps this mother would have felt loved and supported in her trial, and opted to give church another try.
How would the family of the adult woman with special needs have felt if members had made an effort to seek out a handshake after services or asked questions in order to determine the best opportunities for her to use her unique God-given talents in the church?
What kind of message would the church have sent to the young man with hearing loss if possible methods had been explored for enabling his access to church services and functions? Perhaps they could have utilized technology or interpreting services. Regardless, the young man would have felt that he was wanted, loved, and an important member of the church body.
Imagine the mother’s reaction, and the positive impact on the child, had the church leader’s wife asked her to sit down and brainstorm how the Pathfinder program could be adapted to meet the needs of the child. This conversation could have resulted in an incredible opportunity not only for the child with special needs, but the other members of the Pathfinder club as well.
The referenced situations did not necessarily require advanced technology or expensive or time-consuming interventions. Rather, what was needed were church members who responded to the quiet nudge of the Holy Spirit. Church members who were willing to step outside their comfort zones. Church members who longed to live lives that are true imitations of the example that Jesus left for us. Church members who wanted all to understand that it is by God’s grace that each of us walks through the doors of our churches.
Creating a church culture that is inclusive and accessible to those with special needs is not going to be a seamless process. It will require a willingness to make mistakes, to perhaps even be uncomfortable. Most important, it requires a desire to learn and grow together. Creating such a culture, though, will open our hearts and churches to profound and numerous blessings, while having a unmeasurable eternal impact.
