Q: We’ve been married for two years and want children. My wife receives fertility advice on avoiding tobacco, alcohol, and certain medications; should I, as a daddy-to-be, follow similar guidelines and give up some things too?
A: We’re thrilled to hear this thoughtful question from a “daddy-to-be”! It’s great that you’re considering how your lifestyle can impact your family’s future.
Couples often focus on the mother-to-be’s health, but the father-to-be’s lifestyle is equally important for fertility and pregnancy outcomes. Sperm quality and quantity are highly influenced by lifestyle, so early changes can optimize reproductive success. Age also matters—women’s fertility peaks in their 20s, declines after 30, and drops more sharply after 35 because of reduced egg quality and quantity.
Your wife was born with all her eggs, and her health, lifestyle, and even her mother’s during pregnancy affect her egg quality and your future children. Women’s choices before and during pregnancy are vital for reducing developmental risks. Similarly, your mother’s lifestyle during her pregnancy may have influenced your fertility, as premature and low-birth-weight boys often face lower fertility as adults.
It’s worth giving up unhealthy habits to benefit your wife and family. It’s not a loss; it’s an investment!
As for you, your sperm production is an ongoing process, and how you live day to day directly affects the quality and quantity of sperm you produce. It takes about 76 to 90 days for sperm to fully develop, so your lifestyle in the months before conception matters. Men experience a slower decline in fertility compared to women, but sperm quality (motility, morphology, and genetic integrity) begins to diminish after age 40. The higher your age over 40, the greater the chance for lower conception rates, longer times to achieve pregnancy, and increased risk of pregnancy complications for your wife.
Certain habits can harm sperm quality and count, including tobacco, alcohol, “junk food,” excessive caffeine, illicit drugs, stress, poor sleep, and sedentary living. Secondhand smoke affects both your wife’s fertility and the baby’s health. Quitting tobacco improves sperm quality, while tight underwear and heat exposure can reduce fertility. The good news is that a balanced diet, regular exercise, stress management, and avoiding harmful substances can boost sperm health in just a few months!
What’s especially beautiful is how your support and encouragement during this time can uplift your wife and positively impact her well-being and that of your unborn child. Your special contribution to marital happiness can create a positive feedback loop for you as parents-to-be: lower stress, improved physical health, and better pregnancy outcome. It’s worth giving up unhealthy habits to benefit your wife and family, as she is doing. It’s not a loss; it’s an investment! As the Bible says: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25). You are preparing for a healthy godly home and family. Leading the way in adopting a healthy lifestyle together can create a nurturing environment for your family and strengthen your bond as you prepare for parenthood.
