Q. With three teenage children involved in multiple activities at church and school and a very busy husband always on the go, it feels like our family connection time is constantly evaporating. The biggest offender on our time is a ringing phone that gets answered. What can we do about this dilemma?
A. In our hyperconnected world, the seemingly innocent act of answering a phone during family time has profound implications that span biblical wisdom, sociological patterns, and psychological well-being. The compulsion to respond to every ring represents a modern intrusion into sacred spaces that deserves careful examination.
The concept of sacred time and intentional presence resonates deeply with the teachings of Scripture. The Sabbath commandment isn’t merely about rest—it’s about creating protected space for communion with God and family. When Jesus withdrew to quiet places or set aside time to spend with His disciples, He demonstrated the value of undivided attention in building meaningful relationships. Modern phone interruptions parallel “money changers in the temple” (Matt. 21:12, 13), where commercial interests invaded sacred space. Just as Jesus cleared the temple to restore its holy purpose, families must protect their time from constant digital intrusion.
Research indicates that frequent phone interruptions during family interactions contribute to what sociologists call “time fragmentation,” or the breaking down of sustained social engagement into disconnected segments. This fragmentation weakens family bonds and disrupts the development of what sociologist Robert Putnam calls “social capital”—the networks of relationships that hold communities together. Children learn social norms by watching their parents, and when adults consistently prioritize phone calls over face-to-face interaction, they implicitly teach that digital connections eclipse personal presence.
The impact of constant phone availability runs deeper than many realize. Studies in cognitive psychology demonstrate that even brief interruptions can significantly disrupt attention and emotional connection. The “continuous partial attention” phenomenon emerges when people attempt to remain perpetually available to digital communications, leading to increased stress levels and decreased ability to form deep emotional bonds. Children, in particular, interpret a parent’s phone response during family time as a signal about their relative importance in the parent’s life.
The act of ignoring a ringing phone during family time is an affirmation of true priorities.
Also, the dopamine-driven cycle of responding to notifications creates a form of behavioral conditioning that makes it increasingly difficult to resist answering calls. This physiological response can transform into what psychologists term “technostress,” a modern affliction where individuals feel compelled to respond immediately to digital communications, even at the cost of more meaningful in-person interactions.
The solution lies in establishing clear boundaries and practicing what might be called “sacred resistance”—the intentional choice to let calls go unanswered during designated family times. This practice isn’t about rejecting technology or people on the other side of the call rather about reclaiming control over when and how we engage with it. Families can establish ritual spaces during meals, devotional times, or recreational activities where phones are deliberately set aside.
The act of ignoring a ringing phone during family time is an affirmation of true priorities. It declares that the physical presence of loved ones takes precedence over potential digital connections. This creates space for deep, uninterrupted conversations that build lasting bonds and emotional security. This choice honors the biblical principle of stewardship over time, acknowledges the sociological importance of focused family interaction, and promotes psychological well-being through genuine human connection.
Please know you and your family remain in our prayers as you seek greater balance in the way you employ time to maximize family bonding and cohesion.