I dreaded today. Why is being a grownup so hard sometimes?

Handling difficult human resources cases is probably the most stressful part of my job. To clarify, the usual discussion of policies and procedures, fitting someone into the right job, or even seeking to mend difficult relationships is often rewarding. But discipline? No thanks. There’s a tight line to walk between people and policies, and how to handle that legal minefield can be problematic, especially for someone who wants to keep the peace. 

I woke with a pounding headache. Today, a supervisor and I needed to address a certain employee with serious health challenges. Susan* had a beautiful heart and loved this ministry, but physical illness often kept her at home. We had delayed this conversation, hoping and praying for healing, while her work piled up. Her supervisor was understandably frustrated. After all, we can’t pay people to be home when work needs to be accomplished at the office. We had waited beyond the edge of mercy, and judgment day had arrived. 

I mentally reviewed the notes from our employment attorney as my husband, Greg, drove into work. Would I say the right things? Health issues were difficult. One wrong word could tip the scales to a claim. Beyond the legalities, though, I felt the pressure of keeping a good employee, when I knew in my heart she couldn’t stay without the corresponding performance.

All too soon, Susan entered my office, followed by her supervisor, Bill.* I forged ahead, striving to relax, to smile. After all, we were simply brainstorming today, exploring how to meet the needs of the ministry while accommodating her physical limitations. I danced around the legalities of disabilities and doctor’s notes while seeking to convey my heart, which was that I cared desperately for her and wanted to make this work. One of the difficult things about my personality is that I can usually see both sides of an argument. On this day, I saw Susan’s dilemma: her desire to work, while she physically could not. At the same time, I understood Bill’s frustration, as an employee needs to be productive. How could this be resolved?

Everyone shared openly. It was a good meeting, yet somehow something was still lacking. Suddenly, Susan looked at Bill and expressed her sorrow at the extra trouble she was causing him. He smiled and said three words, “You’re worth it.” 

Tears misted my eyes. Bill was not usually sentimental. Practical and pragmatic, he analyzed life through the filter of process. Yet, what a gift he had extended to Susan! At that moment, the meeting righted and ended with a brilliant solution for all involved. 

They walked out of my office, yet Bill’s words, “You’re worth it” lingered in my mind. How often have I felt my inadequacies, my inability to perform effectively, and my limitations? And yet, at that moment, my Father whispers these words into my ear: “You’re worth it.”

I’m worth His sacrifice.

I’m worth His life.

You’re worth it, too.

_________

*Not their real names

Jill Morikone is vice president and chief operations officer for Three Angels Broadcasting Network (3ABN), a supporting Adventist television network. She and her husband, Greg, live in southern Illinois and enjoy ministering together for Jesus.