The day started normally. Time with God in the morning. The sweet peace of His presence. It was a busy week at work, as we were recording an entire quarter’s lessons for our Three Angels Broadcasting Sabbath School panel. Those weeks are always intense. Hours spent on the set, learning from the panelists, digging deep into God’s Word. It’s refreshing—and inspiring.
Yet it’s a tremendous responsibility to share the Word of God with others. I feel it every time the lights turn on and the cameras begin recording. Sharing something from myself is one thing. When it’s from God’s Word, however, it takes on a whole new meaning.
By late morning several things had gone wrong. We waited for our production crew to adjust the lights. An audio glitch caused an edit, which took more time. One of our panelists needed to restart one of their sections. Normal, everyday production issues. Nothing major, but I could feel myself begin to feel rushed and anxious. E-mails kept rolling through on my phone. Issues needed attention, mail was piling up on my desk, voice mails needed to be returned. Just because we were recording a good portion of the day, that didn’t mean that work stopped in the office. I needed to somehow juggle it all.
Have you ever experienced God’s grace? Have you ever tasted His mercy?
We changed for the next program, determined to press on and finish another one before lunch. The audio technician came out and put my mic on, along with several others. In fact, we were all ready to go, except for one person. Suddenly I heard my voice, more sharply than I’d intended, “Where is he? We need to start!” The other panelists and crew smiled. Jill’s starting to crack the whip.
Five minutes passed. I could feel my irritation grow. I don’t have time for this. Too many other things are demanding my attention. Don’t people realize that? My mouth opened, and more words tumbled out. “Come on! We need to start. Can you get so-and-so? Let’s get moving!”
One of the panelists looked at me and laughed. “Whoa, Nellie,” he chuckled. He meant it as a joke, but his words cut to my heart. Another person turned on his iPad. As worship music filled the room, I struggled to keep my tears in check. What had I just done? Yes, we needed to start. But I could’ve said the same words with a vastly different spirit.
The missing panelist appeared, and we were ready to start. Except that I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t pray. I definitely couldn’t record. Who was I? I was supposed to be sharing the Word of God with people lost and alone, people who needed our Savior. Yet I was the biggest hypocrite of all. How could I speak what I hadn’t experienced? How could I share when I had stepped into sin? How could God use me?
I finally found my voice. “If you all don’t mind, I’d like to pray first. I need forgiveness from our Father and from you for my attitude. I’m sorry.” I bowed my head, and the words tumbled out: “God, would You cleanse me? Forgive my sin and enable me to stand before Your people and share a message from You. I am so unworthy.”
Have you ever experienced His grace? Have you ever tasted His mercy? Have you touched His forgiveness?
I have. And I, for one, am forever grateful.
Jill Morikone is vice president and chief operations officer for Three Angels Broadcasting Network (3ABN), a supporting Adventist television network. She and her husband, Greg, live in southern Illinois and enjoy ministering together for Jesus.