It was midnight on New Year’s Eve in Bangkok, Thailand. Giddy with excitement, my sons began setting up a series of fireworks they had convinced my husband to help them purchase at the Chinese market weeks before. But what was supposed to be a fun-filled night with school friends turned into a nightmare when the grand finale, a five-inch firework shell, blew into our son’s face. The next minutes are a blur in my memory, but I remember being surrounded by our sons’ schoolmates; flicking burning embers from my son’s face, hair, and ears; and trying to assess his physical injuries in the darkness of midnight. Minutes later we lifted him into the back seat of our car, where I cradled his head as we sped to the closest hospital, where he was briefly assessed and admitted to the ICU.
Leaving our 15-year-old son in the ICU, not yet having any idea of the extent of his injuries, was one of the hardest things my husband and I have ever had to do. Sleep was impossible, as hundreds of unanswered questions swirled in our heads. Had we been negligent in letting him light the fireworks? If we had paid more attention, would he have avoided injury? What about his physical injuries? Had he lost an eye? What if the accident had blinded him? Would his face be disfigured for life? And what about brain injury? Certainly the impact had done damage. But how much damage? Would he need emergency surgery in the night to relieve pressure building up in his brain? What if he survived the initial impact, only to suffer the devastating effects of brain trauma and damage?
And what about his emotional state? He was alone, surrounded by strange beeps and buzzes, and unable to understand much of the language. Was he afraid? What questions were keeping him awake? Was he crying? How much pain was he in? Could he advocate for himself? Or was he just trying to hold on until morning, when he could hear our voices and feel our touch again? These questions overwhelmed me even more than the medical questions did. I longed to be with him in the ICU, to hold his hand and let him know that he wasn’t alone.
With tears streaming down our faces, my husband and I held each other as we prayed for our son and for the medical personnel caring for him. In spite of the questions bombarding our thoughts, we eventually fell into a restless, fitful sleep.
A lot happened over the next few days. But several days and a couple of surgeries later, our son was released from the hospital. During the next few weeks he experienced a full and miraculous recovery. So miraculous, in fact, that if you met him, you would never know he had been hit in the face by a five-inch burning firework shell. God was indeed good to us!
A significant risk
Our story is unique. But every missionary has their own stories to tell. Some may not encounter this type of trauma, and others may experience far worse. But every missionary faces difficult and challenging situations that impact them deeply, some even leaving lifelong scars. It’s a risk we recognize is part of the cost of being a cross-cultural missionary.
Paul was a missionary very familiar with hardships. In 2 Corinthians 11 he lists the trials he had endured to that point: multiple beatings, attempted stonings, several shipwrecks, a day and night stranded at sea, danger from rivers, bandits, those he was serving, and those who were his own—any of which today’s missionaries would receive special debriefing and even counseling for as part of the recovery process. But while he learned to rejoice in his infirmities (2 Cor. 12:9) and to be content regardless of the circumstances in which he found himself (Phil. 4:11-13), he also understood the value of having a community of support. Eight times in his writings he pleads for his readers to pray for him. Sometimes he was asking for prayers for a fruitful ministry. But at other times his requests were much more personal as he asked for protection from danger or deliverance from prison.
But prayer wasn’t the only thing Paul was desperate for. Not long before his death he wrote from prison, urging Timothy to “come to me quickly” and to bring Mark with him (2 Tim. 4:9, 11). Everyone else was gone, and though his trust and faith in God never wavered, Paul knew the value of human companionship during difficult times. Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 says, “Two are better than one . . . : If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (NIV). Paul, I am certain, understood this and was self-aware and confident enough to ask for support when he most needed it.
Together we can provide the care and support our missionaries need not only to survive the mission field but also to thrive in their missionary calling!
Care defined
While few of our missionaries today face shipwrecks or stonings, as Paul experienced, and communication and transportation make keeping in touch with family and friends at home easier than in J. N. Andrews’ day, the realities of missionary life are no less difficult or challenging. Not only do bad things happen as a result of living in a sinful world, but our missionaries truly do wrestle against principalities and powers and “spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 6:12, NIV). As missionaries engage in spiritual war against the enemy in enemy territory, Satan redoubles his efforts to stop progress. And he does all in his power to keep even one sinner from hope and freedom, often directly targeting missionaries and other gospel workers with his attacks.
In light of this, the General Conference (GC) has recognized the need for an improved system of support for missionaries, especially as we engage Mission Refocus, an initiative in which mission calls and budgets are being realigned to have a greater focus on reaching the unreached and establishing worshipping groups where there currently are none. Realizing that these frontline workers will be working in more isolated and challenging conditions, a new position, the International Service Employee (ISE) care and support manager, has been created to develop a comprehensive system of support for GC missionaries working outside their home divisions. But what does missionary care look like?
Harry Hoffman, a leader in member or missionary care, defines missionary care as providing comprehensive care that addresses the physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational needs of individuals and families engaged in cross-cultural work. The goal is to ensure their well-being and effectiveness in their service roles and includes such services as counseling, medical care, debriefing, training, and ongoing support to help individuals and their families thrive in their challenging environments. While we are still exploring what all that looks like in the context of our missionary program, we are committed to doing all that we can to help our missionaries not just survive but thrive in the mission field.
A support system
When I think back to our own experience in the mission field, including our son’s accident, I recognize that we pulled through difficult situations because we had a team of supporters who walked with us through our “mountaintops” as well as our “valleys.” When our son was injured, the International Personnel Resources Services team at the General Conference worked with us to make sure that the hospital bills were paid and that a plan was in place should our son need to be evacuated to a better hospital. They prayed with us and stayed in contact through the duration of his hospitalization. The local church leadership visited us in the hospital and encircled our son’s hospital bed as they prayed for his healing. Teachers and students from our son’s school made a poster with get-well notes, which he kept for years. Local church members visited us in our home, bringing food and praying with us for our son’s recovery. Family and friends back in our home country mobilized prayer chains so we were covered with prayer 24/7. And my mother took vacation days to travel to be with us and help support our son’s recovery. We discovered that our community of support was a worldwide community, without which our experience may have been very different.
So what can you do to help support our missionaries?
Pray faithfully. Contact your division office to learn about missionaries serving in your division and pray for them. You may want to choose one family a day, week, or month. Or you may want to pray for missionaries who are serving in a specific country or division. You could also choose to pray for the missionaries working at one of our many medical or educational institutions. If possible, contact the family and ask how you can pray for them. If you can’t contact them, pray that God will give them a sense of purpose, divine encounters, and courage in the face of adversity. They also need strength, health, and resilient marriages. Pray for their personal lives. Some are learning how to raise children in a different culture, while others are separated from their children as they attend school in a different country. Still others are negotiating care for elderly parents. Pray that God will bless them with wisdom and a sense of peace that comes from His presence as they navigate the challenges of mission service. Most of all, pray that they experience joy in the journey of service.
Send a package. Nothing is more fun than opening a package from “home.” I remember our boys fighting to see who got to open packages that came from Grandma and Grandpa. It was important to them because the winner got to enjoy the fleeting whiffs of “home” as the box was opened. While the smell didn’t last, the love they felt from the carefully packed toys, books, and T-shirts did. And the goodies included for my husband and me provided for a fun and stress-relieving mini vacation as we enjoyed the tastes and pleasures of “home.” Perhaps there are missionaries serving from your country or division who would benefit from a “taste of home.”
Invest in a missionary marriage. Life in the mission field is busy and stressful. Not only are there the regular pressures of work, but there are the pressures that come from seeing so much need and feeling a burden to make a difference. Missionary life is a 24/7 endeavor. This often means that missionaries don’t have a lot of time to invest in their marriages. Sending a gift card to be used for a date night or sponsoring a missionary couple to a marriage retreat while they are on annual leave can make a big difference and communicates “we care”!
Adopt a missionary teen. Being a missionary kid is exciting, but it is also full of challenges. One of the challenges many of our missionary teens face is leaving their families to attend school. If you live near an academy or college, check to see if there are any missionary kids you can befriend. Studies show that adverse childhood experiences, including the loss that comes with international moves, can be counteracted by positive childhood experiences, such as being able to express their emotions in a supportive environment and having nonparent adults interested and invested in their well-being. Perhaps you can become a mentor to a missionary teen or young adult. As a parent of missionary kids, I can assure you that your efforts will be appreciated and can make a big difference in a missionary kid’s life.
There are many other things that you can do to encourage and care for missionaries. Perhaps you have some ideas already. Maybe you need more suggestions. Or perhaps you are not sure that you have the time or resources needed to make a difference. I would encourage you to pray about it and ask God to show you what you can do to help missionaries feel supported.
I remember a retired church member on a limited income who would give us a bag of chocolate chips each annual leave so we could make cookies for our boys. It was a simple gesture, but it made us feel loved and cared for. So trust me—regardless of what you choose to do, whether big or small, you can make a difference! Together we can provide the care and support our missionaries need not only to survive the mission field but also to thrive in their missionary calling!