Missions

Grace for Missionary Kids

When becoming a missionary isn’t your choice

Lynette Yoon

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Grace for Missionary Kids
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I was angry at God. I thought He was trying to ruin my life. My parents had just told me that they felt God was calling them to be missionaries, but I did not want to be a missionary. I had my life planned out, and it did not involve going to serve in the middle of nowhere with my parents!

I also thought it was impossible to move overseas, because my mother’s health was so poor; she had been in a wheelchair for the past couple of years with chronic fatigue syndrome. My parents decided to make my mother’s health the test of their calling, and at an anointing service she was instantly healed.

I couldn’t deny God’s call to my family. Although I still felt a little reluctant, I accompanied them for missionary training, moving from the United Kingdom to the United States. Becoming a missionary kid (MK) would be a pivotal point in my life, bringing gifts I couldn’t yet imagine.

Chosen for us

Missionary kids are launched into an adventure typically not of their own choosing. They belong to a demographic called “third culture kids” (TCKs)—people who grow up in multiple cultures and typically move around a lot, often because of their parents’ work.

Being a missionary TCK presents both unique challenges to navigate and blessings to experience, as numerous TCKs besides me can testify—including Anna, who was an MK in Germany, and Stephen, who was an MK in Europe and the United States.

A great blessing is that missionary life often provides exciting new experiences and growth opportunities, both personally and spiritually.

Anna loved her multicultural environment, and particularly remembers visiting a large community of African refugees. It was a treat for her to enjoy spicy food while she sat on the floor and ate with her hands. Her family also made several trips into Romania after the fall of Ceausescu, to bring aid to hospitals and orphanages. Those trips made a profound impact on young Anna. She says, “My heart was broken open by the Lord’s compassion (His suffering with us), and I longed to become His compassion in this aching world.”

Anna considered even the mistakes she made as an MK to be an advantage. All her blunders taught her to rely on God’s help and guidance, helping her to be willing to release her own understanding in exchange for God’s (see Prov. 3:5).

Stephen also enjoyed the exposure to different cultures and worldviews, learning to listen with an open mind and appreciate the shared beauty of the human experience. “Being an MK has allowed me to identify common ground with others, no matter where I am in the world,” he says.

I too grew as an MK. I had always been shy, but my missionary experience enabled me to bloom. Conquering fears, overcoming language barriers, and finding myself up front as an English teacher helped me become confident. My spiritual life was stretched and enriched by seeing the great controversy play out in clearer ways.

Even as God called my parents to mission, He remembered me in that call.

It’s not always great

As much as there are benefits to being a missionary kid, there can also be some painful challenges.

Anna lived in 23 “houses” in her first 23 years of life (including a camper van). This continual uprooting left her hungry for a place to truly feel at home. She tried to fill that ache in unhealthy ways, before God helped her understand His true compassion for her and that she had a home in His heart.

Stephen discovered that as he grew older, he, at times, struggled with decision-making. He excelled at adapting to ever-changing environments, responding to high-stress situations and external motivators. But the inner work of making certain choices for himself—where to live, how long for, and what really mattered outside of work—could feel crippling.

Research shows that missionary kids are at particularly high risk of adverse childhood experiences (potentially traumatic experiences within their household and wider environment).1 There may be dangers of living in a hostile country, and struggles in adapting to a different culture, but there are other challenges that MKs experience too. For instance, one study found that two out of five missionary kids felt unloved or unimportant to their parents. And they were four times more likely than their American peers to experience emotional abuse.2

There are ways, however, to mitigate these hazards. When a child’s parents, community, and sending organization are aware of the risks and learn how to support MKs, they can provide safeguarding and positive experiences that help MKs build a healthy future.

The consequences of growing up as an MK can range from positive to negative, but whatever the highs and lows, God’s grace is always there for the missionary kid.

Included in the Call

God revealed to me that even as He called my parents to mission, He remembered me in that call. While I’ve had my share of grief to process, following God led me to many adventures in Southeast Asia, the United States, England, and now Korea. I have been shaped for the better and given many gifts, including a growing awareness of God’s kindness and creativity in my life.

Just as I have experienced God’s compassion, so have Anna and Stephen.

Anna comments, “God remains faithful even when we are faithless.”

And Stephen realized that in contrast to the often-temporary relationships he experienced moving around as an MK, God’s friendship was consistent. He says, “God holds more grace toward us than we could ever comprehend. When you feel like there is nothing for you, God turns up. When you don’t know who you are inside, God reminds you of your identity. When you push God away in frustration, He never holds it against you. The way God has continually turned up for me, no matter what my heart posture has been, is nothing short of abundant grace.”

While MKs may often find that their adventure starts in a way that is beyond their control, God’s calling is for them, too. Even if MKs feel overlooked, out of place, or lonely at times, God does not forget them. He tends to them lovingly. His heart aches for their pain. God works with them and through them, just as much as He does their missionary parents. And God’s goodness and mercy pursues missionary kids for all the days of their lives (see Ps. 23:6).


1 T. Crossman, Caution and Hope for Missionary Kids, retrieved July 19, 2024, from Caution and Hope for Missionary Kids (tcktraining.com).

2 T. Crossman and L. McCall, Mitigating Risk Factors for Missionary Kids, retrieved July 19, 2024, from Mitigating Risk Factors for Mission Kids 
(tcktraining.com).

Lynette Yoon

Lynette Yoon is an English teacher and writer who is from the United Kingdom but grew up between three countries. She married another third culture kid and lives in South Korea with her pastor husband, where they serve their local and immigrant community.

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