Not much has been written about Ellen White’s siblings and her relationship with them. If you were to ask church members, they probably wouldn’t be able to tell you how many siblings she had or if she even had any (for the record, she did have siblings—seven of them, in fact). Yet one of the fascinating things about Ellen White is how she interacted with each of them, especially concerning spiritual matters. How did she relate to each sibling? And what can we learn from her interactions that will help us better reach our family members for the kingdom?
Caroline Harmon Clough
All of Ellen White’s siblings but her twin sister, Elizabeth, were older. The oldest sister was Caroline, who was 15 years older than Ellen. Because of the age difference, Ellen was a young girl when Caroline married Mace Clough, a Methodist Episcopal pastor, and moved to Kansas. They had a daughter named Mary. Mary worked for a short time for her aunt as a literary assistant. Ellen kept in touch with her sister via letters and at least one visit in 1872 while James and Ellen were passing through Kansas. After not seeing her sister for more than 15 years, Ellen reflected to her son Edson about Caroline: “She is an understanding, intelligent woman, living, I think up to the best light she has had. She is a powerful singer. . . . I think I never heard a voice that would thrill the soul like hers.”1
Their relationship, however, hit a bump in 1877 when Caroline’s daughter, Mary, was working for Ellen but chose not to keep the Sabbath. Ellen wrote to Caroline reiterating their conversation about the Sabbath. She pointed out to her sister that she reverted to writing a letter, because “I have decided that it would not be profitable for you or for me for us to have conversation together on any points of differences. You make your statements so recklessly and so sweeping that it is hopeless to attempt in conversation to say things which will give the right impression, and will be repeated to have the correct meaning.”2 After going through many arguments for keeping the Sabbath, Ellen pointed back to Jesus and the importance of being obedient to Him. “Dear sister,” she wrote in another letter, “it is not enough to confess Christ. His image must be reflected in us. Our natures must be softened, refined, and elevated. We must exemplify Christ in our daily walk at home, abroad, everywhere. Our conversation must not be rambling upon everything. Our words must be select, our conversation on heavenly things.”3
Ellen White and Caroline Harmon Clough
She concluded this letter with words of love and affection: “I do not write because I do not have affection for you. No, no. That is not love and true affection which would cover up and gloss over errors of words, voice, or deportment which are deleterious to the Christian character and spiritual advancement.”4 She appealed to Caroline for continued dialogue: “If you see me in word or in act wrong, I will take it kindly of you to tell me of it. I will not resent reproof.” 5
We don’t know Caroline’s response to her sister’s letters. She died in 1883.
The lesson we learn from Ellen’s interaction with Caroline is when a verbal conversation is not going anywhere and leads to sharp disagreement, it is good for us to revert to writing. We also see that we must never be dogmatic in our beliefs, but always be open to dialogue and correction.
Ellen constantly strived to help her siblings see Jesus.
Harriet Harmon McCann
Ellen’s second sister, Harriet, was about 14 years older than Ellen. She was married to Samuel McCann, who was a pastor in various Christian churches in Maine. They had six children, three of whom died of consumption (tuberculosis). Her husband also died of the same disease. In a visit to Harriet in 1874 Ellen pointed out, “She felt that she could not be reconciled to this [contracting tuberculosis], but felt that it was useless to war against her destiny and has submitted to go the same way the others have gone. Yet there is not a religious influence in the family. No family prayer, and no blessing asked at the table. A godless, prayerless house! What can be worse?”6
Heartbroken by this visit, it would be another year until Ellen saw her sister again. This time Harriet was on her deathbed suffering from the effects of consumption. Ellen recounts this visit in a letter to her son Willie. She pointed out that she didn’t expect to see her sister again, and she said, “I felt such strong desire to gather my sister in my arms and shield her from the anguish of physical prostration she endures daily; but Jesus loves her better than I can. I leave her in His tender arms of love.”7 Harriet died a few months later.
One lesson that we see in Ellen’s relationship with Harriet is her love for her sister and the deep compassion she had for her, even in the midst of Harriet’s home being a “godless, prayerless house!” Ellen could have had the attitude that because Harriet had no interest in God, there was no need to visit her. But to the contrary, Ellen visited Harriet and continued to minister to her despite her lack of interest in religious things.
The second lesson is that Ellen never gave up on showing her sister the love of Jesus, even if it was just by her presence as Harriet was dying. Ellen left her sister’s side, hoping to see her again on resurrection day. She wrote, “We parted with my dear sister, never expecting to meet again until the Lifegiver shall call the captives from their prison houses.”8
We need to listen as much as we share and to be open and vulnerable with our family members.
John Harmon
John was Ellen’s oldest brother. He was 12 years older than Ellen. John moved away from Maine to Georgia, and then to Missouri soon after he got married in 1836. The next time Ellen saw John was in 1859, when John, then living in Illinois, came to visit Ellen and James in Battle Creek. In subsequent years they lost touch. In 1873 Ellen wrote a letter to John begging for him to write back. The entreaty must have worked, because he wrote at least four letters to his sister in the early 1880s. There were plans being made for John to visit Ellen in 1883. Unfortunately, John died before he could visit his sister.
We have very little knowledge about John’s religious experience. His obituary does state that he became a member of the Methodist Episcopal Church about 10 years before he died. Ellen never ceased to want to keep in touch with her brother despite their age difference and him living so far away. She persevered in seeking a relationship with him.
Mary Harmon Foss
Mary was the third sister of Ellen and was six years older. In 1842 Mary married Samuel Foss, a farmer. It was Mary who, in 1845, invited Ellen to a Millerite gathering, showing that she and Samuel were still interested in the Millerite message. It was at that time that Ellen talked about her first vision. Interestingly, Mary’s brother-in-law, Hazen, was given the same vision as Ellen but chose not to share it. In 1875 Ellen and James invited Mary and Samuel to a camp meeting about which Ellen commented, “They were very much interested in the meeting, and we hope the truth which they there heard preached will result finally in their conversion to the truth.”9 Even though Ellen and Mary didn’t see each other much, they kept up regular correspondence, with Ellen regularly sending Mary Adventist literature and books. In a letter Mary wrote to Ellen she indicated she had read a book Ellen sent her and found it to be interesting.10 She also shared in her later letters that she was keeping the Sabbath. The letters between the sisters seem to show that Mary was a practicing Seventh-day Adventist, but there is no record of her formally joining the church. Mary and Ellen continued to correspond until Mary’s death in 1912.
Ellen continued to be patient with Mary and kept talking about the Adventist work and message. She also frequently sent Mary Adventist literature and books and invited Mary and her family to Adventist gatherings. It shows us how important it is to keep in touch with our family members and seize opportunities to share stories or literature about God’s work and love.
Sarah Harmon Belden
Another one of the Harmon siblings was Sarah, who was nearly five years older than Ellen. Before Ellen and Sarah were both married, they traveled together as Ellen related her visions. In 1851 Sarah married Stephen Belden in a service conducted by James White, showing the strong relationship between the two families. Sarah and Stephen worked with Ellen and James in the publishing house both in Rochester, New York, and later in Battle Creek, Michigan, until 1860. Sarah and Ellen were beside the bedside of their brother Robert, Jr., as he died from consumption in 1853. Sarah herself was diagnosed with consumption in 1868. She died that same year; Ellen was beside her bed, comforting her.
It is apparent from her obituary11 that she loved the Lord and looked forward to His soon return. Just before she died, she urged her family to give their hearts to the Savior.
Sarah and Ellen had a close relationship with each other, even working together for several years. Ellen showed a tremendous love and care for her sister in difficult times and was right there beside her sister, comforting her as she faced suffering and death. Her care of her sister extended to the entire Belden family following Sarah’s death.
Robert Harmon, Jr.
Robert Harmon, Jr., was two years older than his sister Ellen. Merlin Burt points out, “Besides her twin sister, Elizabeth, Ellen White probably had the closest emotional bond to her brother Robert.”12 From a young age Robert was described as being in ill health and “feeble.” He was baptized into the Chestnut Street Methodist Church, like some of his siblings and parents. He also was disfellowshipped from the Methodist Church in 1843.
After the Great Disappointment Robert became disenchanted with the Advent movement and lost faith in the soon return of Jesus. In 1852 he rejoined the Methodist Church. Later that year he contracted tuberculosis, which made him bedridden. During his last illness Robert again accepted the message of the soon return of Jesus and the seventh-day Sabbath. Just prior to his death he asked that his name be removed from the Methodist Church. Robert died in his parents’ home in February 1853. Frederick Wheeler conducted his funeral.
From their early years Ellen accompanied Robert to many Methodist and Millerite meetings. In their discussions and their testimonies in the meetings, Robert showed his deep love of God. They both experienced a deep stirring in their hearts when they attended a presentation on the Second Coming. Following the meeting, Ellen felt a deep sense of uncertainty of her salvation. As she was sharing her feelings with Robert, he didn’t respond right away, because he was weeping with her. Ellen later asked Robert if God would spare her life if she fervently prayed. He replied, “I think He will if you ask Him with faith, and I will pray for you and for myself. Ellen, we must never forget the words we have heard this night.”13
Ellen and her brother Robert both loved to attend religious meetings and discuss the content of the meetings deeply with a lot of emotion. They even spoke freely about their hope in the soon return of Jesus. While we don’t have any known letters between them, we can surmise that, based on Ellen’s account of her visit when he was dying, they continued to discuss religious topics. This may have led to his acceptance of the three angels’ messages and the seventh-day Sabbath. As we see from Ellen’s interaction with her brother, we need to listen as much as we share and to be open and vulnerable with our family members.
Elizabeth Harmon Bangs
Elizabeth, or “Lizzie,” as she was known, was Ellen’s twin sister. It is unclear who was born first, but they remained close their entire lives. Lizzie was there and helped Ellen when she was struck by the stone when they were 9 years old. During their younger years Ellen and Lizzie showed great interest in the second coming of Jesus and raised money to buy literature to be distributed. She even accompanied Ellen as she shared some of her early visions.14
Lizzie, like her sister Ellen, was voted into membership at the Chestnut Street Methodist Church in late 1842. But she was never baptized, possibly because her parents and siblings were removed from membership in the Methodist Church in 1843. This may have contributed to Lizzie’s disillusionment with religion.15
In 1849 Lizzie married Reuben Bangs, an inactive Quaker, who showed no interest in religion and was “always picking flaws in religious people.”16 This might be another contributing factor as to why Lizzie lost interest in religion. One time when Ellen visited her sister Mary joined by Lizzie, she observed that there were “no prayers, no blessing at the table in either of my sister’s houses.”17
Ellen, however, constantly strived to move the heart of her sister toward Jesus. One example is Ellen’s appeal following the death of Lizzie’s daughter Eva in 1858. Speaking of the resurrection morning, Ellen wrote this: “The angels receive the motherless infants and conduct them to the tree of life. Jesus places the golden ring of light, the crown upon their little heads. God grant that the dear mother of ‘Eva’ may be there, that her little wings may be folded upon the glad bosom of her mother.”18
Throughout the rest of Lizzie’s life she and Ellen corresponded regularly. Ellen would send her religious books and periodicals.19 As Lizzie’s health failed in the early 1890s, Ellen made a last appeal to Lizzie: “Don’t you believe on Jesus, Lizzie? Do you not believe He is your Saviour? That He has evidenced His love for you in giving His own precious life that you might be saved? All that is required of you is to take Jesus as your own precious Saviour. I pray most earnestly that the Lord Jesus shall reveal Himself to you and to Reuben. Your life in this world is not one of pleasure but of pain; and if you will not doubt Jesus but believe that He died to save you, if you will come to Him just as you are, and give yourself to Jesus and grasp His promises by living faith, He will be to you all that you can desire.”20
She continued to share the simplicity of the gospel with her sister, making a strong appeal to her to accept Jesus and rest on His bosom.
“I long to take you in my arms and lay you on the bosom of Jesus Christ.
“I am praying for you all, that you might melt your hearts in view of the love of Jesus and accept His love and have His peace and joy and righteousness. . . . You must accept of Jesus. He longs to give you His peace and the light of His countenance. Lizzie, my heart longs to see you trusting in Jesus, for He can give you His grace to bear all your acute sufferings. He loves you. He wants to save you.”21
We don’t know Lizzie’s response to this fervent appeal from her sister. Lizzie died on December 21, 1891. Ellen never gave up on Lizzie. She wrote her letters as well as sending her books and periodicals. No matter the topic of a letter, Ellen always brought it back to Jesus and appealed to Lizzie to accept Him as her personal Savior. As long as there is life, we must never give up on our family members’ salvation.
Conclusion
Even though she was the youngest sibling, Ellen White was very intentional about growing her relationship with each of her siblings and took different approaches to talking to them and showing them the love of Jesus. Whether it was through conversations, letters, sending them periodicals and books, or visiting them, Ellen constantly strived to help her siblings see Jesus. It is very clear that she did it with earnestness and with a passion to see her brothers and sisters in heaven. These are tremendous lessons for us all as we reach out to our families and loved ones. And just as Ellen ministered to each of her siblings in a unique way, we must pray that God will reveal to us the best way to reach our loved ones for Jesus.
1 Ellen G. White letter 10, 1872.
2 Ellen G. White letter 35, 1877.
3 Ellen G. White letter 35a, 1877.
4 Ibid.
5 Ibid.
6 Ellen G. White letter 50, 1874.
7 Ellen G. White letter 31, 1875.
8 Ibid.
9 Ellen G. White letter 35, 1875.
10 Mary Plummer Foss to Ellen G. White, July 22, 1883.
11 Review and Herald, Dec. 22, 1868, p. 286.
12 Merlin Burt, “Robert F. Harmon, Jr.,” The Ellen G. White Encyclopedia (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 2013), p. 400.
13 Ellen G. White, Testimonies for the Church (Mountain View, Calif.: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1948), vol. 1, p. 15.
14 Ellen G. White, The Ellen G. White Letters and Manuscripts With Annotations (Hagerstown, Md. Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 2014), vol. 1, pp. 786, 787.
15 Merlin Burt, Adventist Pioneer Places: New York & New England (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 2011), pp. 10, 12.
16 E. G. White, The Ellen G. White Letters and Manuscripts With Annotations, vol. 1, p. 787.
17 Ellen G. White letter 51, 1874.
18 Ellen G. White, “Bereavement,” The Youth’s Instructor. April 1858, p. 29; see also Ellen G. White, Selected Messages (Washington, D.C.: Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 1958, 1980), book 2, p. 260.
19 E. G. White, The Ellen G. White Letters and Manuscripts With Annotations, vol. 1, p. 787.
20 Ellen G. White letter 61, 1891.
21 Ibid.