Scammed by God?

A friend of mine was upset. For many years he had prayed sincerely for God to guide his choice of a spouse. Eventually a young woman entered his life. They instantly connected in both life and ministry. He saw God’s goodness. His wife, however, eventually had an affair, which ended in their divorce.

My friend felt he had been scammed by God. After years of genuine, openhearted pleas for God to guide his life, he felt that God had led him into a disaster.

God could have stopped this from happening. God could have intervened. God could have prevented them from ever meeting in the first place. How could God have allowed this sincere young man to have his life permanently scarred by such a tragedy?

I don’t know all the answers to these questions, nor does my friend. He knows only that the pain of this torn-apart relationship persists.

My friend may never understand the reason for his breakup. But his story pinpoints an issue that many of God’s friends have faced throughout history. What do we do when we believe God is leading one way, but then things turn in an unexpected, and painful, direction?

This situation seems especially challenging for those who love God sincerely and deeply and desire to please Him with all their hearts. What do we do when God appears to crush our hopes and dreams—hopes and dreams we were certain He gave us?

Leading in the Wrong Direction?

One day, when the sun was shining and the birds were singing and all seemed normal and good, God pointed out His faithful friend Job to Satan. This resulted in Job entering unbelievable darkness and unimaginable loss. I don’t know how long Job’s pain and confusion lasted, but God never appeared with answers to Job’s questions. Job’s suffering was so great that his story has echoed throughout the whole of history.

On another ordinary day God unexpectedly asked His best friend Abraham to sacrifice his only son. Abraham could have argued that this was the voice of Satan. But Abraham knew God’s voice and, unexpectedly, found himself trekking up Mount Moriah with his most precious possession walking next to him without a care in the world.

Even the teenage friends of Jesus who were excited to be discipled by Him eventually found themselves staring at a martyr’s death. Was this really the direction God was leading them?

Then there was Moses.

God asked His friend Moses to lead the children of Israel out of Egyptian slavery. Moses was reluctant. He didn’t really want the job (see Ex. 3; 4). But Moses was finally persuaded. As Moses discussed the matter with God, I can imagine him thinking, Even if it all goes wrong, it’s only a two-week trip to the Promised Land. Can’t be that difficult, can it?

What do we do when God appears to crush our hopes and dreams—hopes and dreams we were certain He gave us?

Forty years later, after being repeatedly threatened and rebelled against—not just by his closest leaders but also by his own brother and sister—Moses was so irritated by the constant rebellion of God’s people that his blood boiled as his face turned red in anger: “ ‘Listen, you rebels!’ he shouted. ‘Must we bring you water from this rock?’ Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill. But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!’ ” (Num. 20:10-12, NLT).1

This was not the deal that Moses thought he was signing up for.

I could keep listing the number of God’s friends who started off following God in one direction, but then things suddenly turned and moved toward some very strange places.

Surprised Again?

Even though I know how God has led His friends in the past, when trials come into my life I am regularly still surprised by them.

What are they doing here?

Why is God allowing this?

Doesn’t God see I am trying to follow Him with all my heart?

I carry an unspoken assumption that if I am pursuing God with sincerity, God should protect me from any unpleasantness that threatens to ruin my peace. But that’s why Peter cautions us all, “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12, NLT). Even God’s friends need to be reminded that trials are normal in this world.

But what is the purpose of all this? If we could see purpose in our pain and confusion, it might make bearing our trials a little easier.

God doesn’t want me to become content with low-level dreams—even if I think they are amazing. He wants me to dream His highest dreams.

Why God May Shatter Our Dreams

In his book Shattered Dreams Christian psychologist Larry Crabb argues that sometimes God allows our dreams to be shattered in order to redirect our attention to His higher dreams. Over the years I have thought a lot about Crabb’s point. God doesn’t want me to become content with low-level dreams—even if I think they are amazing. He wants me to dream His highest dreams.

I also need to keep in mind that God’s highest dreams are not so much about doing something more important for God, but rather about growing and deepening my desire for a relationship with Him. This is important for me to remember, because anything of use to the kingdom of God flows out of intimacy with God.

What then is of greatest use to God and His kingdom?

Reflecting the Image of God

I cannot imagine anything more important flowing out of intimacy with God than the reflection of His character. As Paul writes, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18, NIV).2 This transformation into the image of God is God’s purpose in our salvation.

But when the cloud unexpectedly turns direction and leads me to places where there is no water (Ex. 17:1-7) or bitter water (Ex. 15:22-27), I am prone to whine and complain. At the very least, I will spend some time getting stressed out. Yet in all these situations in which God walks in unexpected directions and calls me to follow Him, there is a scripture that helps to discipline both my mind and heart.

Paul writes to the Romans, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28, NIV).

This is what I find most comforting: Whatever situation I find myself in, and no matter the reason I got there, if I stick with Him I can be sure that God is working within my circumstances to bring about my highest good. Maybe I misheard God. Maybe I took the wrong path deliberately. Perhaps I was knocked off course by forces beyond my control. Maybe I made an honest mistake. It doesn’t matter how I found myself in this strange situation, because I still love God, and I know God is working out His highest good for me.

And what is the good that God is working hard to accomplish in my life?

Paul answers this in the following verse, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son” (verse 29, NIV). The ultimate purpose, to which the Father is coordinating all of heaven’s resources is that His friends will look more and more like Jesus.

You were created to look like Jesus. That’s how humans were originally designed. Through our circumstances, and perhaps especially the most painful ones, we are being taught how to let go of the sin that is deforming us and depend on the One in whose image we were made.

As I do this, and as you do this, and as my friend who feels scammed by God does this, the beauty of God’s character is made visible through our lives; a witness to the truth about God gushes out abundantly into the world.

Then, when others see it, they will want to be like Jesus too.

And one day God may explain why, at times, He led us in such strange ways.

But maybe not. Maybe I won’t want any more answers. For maybe living in God’s presence and gazing at the beauty and glory that I see in His face will have become more than enough.

1Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

2Texts credited to NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.