Sacred Gift, Sacred Boundaries

The disappointment of October 22, 1844, resulted in spiritual discouragement and practical questions. When would the Lord return? How should believers live their lives? What did waiting look like? Should they marry or remain single and celibate, focused fully on proclaiming and preparing for the Second Coming?

James White, a young Millerite preacher, and Ellen Harmon, both emerging leaders in the Advent movement, personally faced this dilemma. Mutual attraction and the practicalities of unmarried people traveling and speaking together raised questions that could not be ignored. After much prayerful consideration in the light of the Second Coming and Ellen’s unique calling, they married in 1846.

Breaking Taboos

As a woman in the mid-1800s, Ellen White challenged prevailing societal norms and expectations by addressing such sensitive issues as human sexuality. Her earliest statements on this topic appeared within the broader context of the Adventist health message. In 1864 she published a 64-page pamphlet on what she referred to as the “secret vice,” or masturbation, which she described as “the destroyer of high resolve, earnest endeavor, and strength of will to form a good religious character.”[1] She further emphasized that all who understand what it means to be a Christian recognize their “obligations” as followers of Christ to bring their “passions, their physical powers and mental faculties, into perfect subordination to His will.”[2]

This tension between sex as uncontrolled passion and sex as an expression of love within the safety of marriage is a recurring theme in her writings. Let me illustrate.

A Gift From God

Ellen White consistently portrays sexual intimacy as something to be enjoyed within marriage, a gift from God. “Jesus did not enforce celibacy upon any class of men,” she wrote. “He came not to destroy the sacred relationship of marriage, but to exalt it and restore it to its original sanctity. He looks with pleasure upon the family relationship where sacred and unselfish love bears sway.”[3]

In this context she explained that those who “enter into matrimonial relations with a holy purpose—the husband to obtain the pure affections of a woman’s heart, the wife to soften and improve her husband’s character and give it completeness” fulfill God’s intention for the marital relationship.[4]

Although some have called her position puritanical, Ellen White consistently described sexual intimacy as a privilege to be exercised within marriage, urging couples to preserve as “sacred the privacy and privileges of the family relation.”[5]

“They [married Christians] should duly consider the result of every privilege of the marriage relation, and sanctified principle should be the basis of every action,” she advised.[6]

Although James and Ellen White experienced the typical family tensions that accompany parenthood, illness, travel, and separation, her comments are grounded in inspiration and her own lived experiences. She sweetly expresses her desire for James in her letters. On one occasion, when James was sick, she wrote:

Believers are called to ensure that nothing distracts them from fellowship with God and from the ongoing development of a Christlike character. 

“Yesterday . . . I rode twelve miles in the stage. The scenery was beautiful. The trees with their varied hues, the beautiful evergreens interspersed among them, the green grass, the high and lofty mountains, the high bluffs of rocks—all are interesting to the eye. These things I could enjoy, but I am alone. The strong, manly arm I have ever leaned upon is not now my support.”[7]

On another occasion, when separated, she writes:

“This is my prayer, when I lie down, when I awake in the night, and when I arise in the morning, Nearer my God to Thee, nearer to Thee. I sleep alone. . . . I prize my [being] all to myself unless graced with your presence. I want to share my bed only with you.”[8]

Sexual Excess

Like all good gifts, the gift of sex can be abused. Referring to sexual excess within marriage, Ellen G. White uses strong language, referring to “animal passions” and, elsewhere, to “bestiality”:

“Sexual excess will effectually destroy a love for devotional exercises, will take from the brain the substance needed to nourish the system, and will most effectively exhaust the vitality. No woman should aid her husband in this work of self-destruction. She will not do it if she is enlightened and has true love for him. The more the animal passions are indulged, the stronger do they become, and the more violent will be their clamors for indulgence.”[9]

Here we see the recurring tension between sex as something wholesome and excessive sex as a distraction from one’s spiritual life. Such a principle applies to many other areas of the human experience. Believers are called to ensure that nothing distracts them from fellowship with God and from the ongoing development of a Christlike character.

Choices With Eternal Consequences

Sexual and relational choices have eternal consequences, and Ellen White draws parallels between the time before the Flood and now, when Satan tries to blind Christians, encouraging sentimentality and impurity. As she put it:

“The lust of the flesh has control of men and women. The mind has been depraved through a perversion of the thoughts and feelings, and yet the deceptive power of Satan has so blinded their eyes that poor, deceived souls flatter themselves that they are spiritually minded, especially consecrated, when their religious experience is composed of lovesick sentimentalism more than of purity, true goodness, and humility of soul; the mind is not drawn out of self, is not exercised and elevated by blessing others, by doing good works.”[10]

Conclusion

Ellen G. White faced many of the same challenges we face today: How do we live a life that truly honors God? Although her language may at times seem antiquated or harsh, she affirmed that sex is a beautiful gift from God. At the same time, she warned that it is also something that Satan often uses and distorts with great effectiveness. Christians are therefore called to live a life of purity within the confines of marriage, where sexual intimacy finds its proper, meaningful, and beautiful expression.

[1] Ellen G. White, An Appeal to Mothers (Battle Creek, Mich.: Seventh-day Adventist Pub. Assn., 1864), p. 9.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home (Nashville: Southern Pub. Assn., 1952), p. 121.

[4] Ibid., p. 99.

[5] Ellen G. White, Testimonies for the Church (Mountain View, Calif.: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1948), vol. 2, p. 90.

[6] Ibid., p. 380.

[7] Ellen G. White, Daughters of God (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 1998), p. 261.

[8] Ellen G. White letter 6, 1876, in Letters and Manuscripts, vol. 3 (1876-1882), p. 8.

[9] Ellen G. White, Testimony Treasures (Mountain View, Calif.: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1949), vol. 1, p. 272.

[10] E. G. White, Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 252.