Living in the Moment

My nature is not for moments. Life sometimes passes me by.

I don’t know if it’s my personality or some driving force within to accomplish one more thing. It’s an elusive drive really, because as soon as the next thing is accomplished, something else looms in view. 

My job, by its very nature, is never done. If I answer 150 emails today, there are more that remain unanswered. If I finalize a certain contract, there are more waiting to be written. If I record one program today, there’s another tomorrow, seeping into my subconscious, with a nagging reminder that I ought to be studying my Bible in preparation. 

How is it to be accomplished? I used to frenetically work; after all, there are 24 hours in one day. Surely, if I just worked harder, longer, faster, more efficiently, I would catch up. So the days, weeks, and months passed in a blur, every waking hour devoted to that goal of accomplishment for the purpose of ministry. Of service. Of the calling that had been placed upon my shoulders. A year passed. Then two, then more.

Along the way I discovered that the mind can take only so much. And that the body obeys the mind for only so long. My plan failed because there was always something left undone. No matter how hard I worked or sacrificed or drove myself, it was impossible to accomplish everything. 

I had failed. And failure is not an option for me. 

My friends and family said to slow down, to take time for life. How was I to accomplish that? What could be cut from life? 

After prayer, I began to delegate more, to triage invitations and say “no.” To evaluate everything through the wise advice Greg and I had received: something about the energy expended versus the impact it made. Opportunities that consumed great energy with low impact were declined, to save room for opportunities that expended less energy while creating wider impact. 

Yet the problem persisted. Perhaps not the frantic pace, but still the smearing blur of time. Life is not a treadmill, one foot in front of the other, all the while remaining in place. Life is beauty and color; it’s moments captured and embraced; it’s living fully right here, right now. It’s to be found with the Marys of this world, sitting at the feet of Jesus. 

That section of Scripture (Luke 10:38-42) used to irritate me. How could I do whatneeded to be done while I wassitting? I’m discovering it doesn’t always mean sitting in the physical sense. It can be a mindset of sitting, even while actively working. Of experiencing God in the moments of life, of appreciating this conversation, this task, this moment, while letting go of what’s still ahead. And I gulp, like someone who’s been held underwater, then breaks the surface and sees the sparkle of light across the water as if for the very first time. 

Ephesians 5 addresses redeeming the time, and by grace, my moments are being redeemed.