A Thankful Heart

What brings joy to life? Is it when life is going well, the house is paid for, and family and friends are close by? Is that what matters in life?

I saw Sam* before I knew who he was. He sat toward the back of the church, covered by a blanket. I wondered at his story and why he’d come to the 3ABN rally at this church in Australia. After the first service was done, his friend introduced us.

Instantly, I saw how sick he was; it was evident in his thin frame and his weak voice. But the joy in his eyes overshadowed any pain. “I have Stage 4 pancreatic cancer,” his voice rasped. “And I’m so happy.” Happy? How does a devastating cancer diagnosis bring joy?

I drew up a chair and sat beside him, seeking to catch his story and learn his secret. He told how something had occurred years ago that made him angry with God. He left God and the church and did his own thing. As the years passed, his wife said, “You’re not the man I married. You’re angry with me for no reason.” He related how much that hurt him inside, realizing that his life had taken a terrible turn for the worse, and he’d allowed Satan to come in and take control.

Perhaps it’s simply in the knowledge of who our God is that we find a thankful heart.

The next service was starting, and our time together was so limited. Sam shared how he’d come back to God, to church, and then came the shattering diagnosis. Initially, he’d cried out to God, “What happened, God, to the small trials? Shouldn’t I have a small trial first to build my faith? Why such a big one, all at once?”

Sam looked up at me and smiled. “You know what God said? He said, ‘Why are you complaining? I died for you.’” The tears began to trickle down his face. “That put it all in perspective for me. I do not know the future, but I’m not afraid to die. I trust God whether He chooses to heal me or not.”

He leaned back in his chair, his wife of 46 years on the other side. The music rose, the congregation singing together. I felt as if I had spent a moment with one of God’s beloved children; this moment was hallowed and sacred. How can one man be dying, yet happy? And so many others be living, yet frustrated, frantic, and fault-finding?

Does it take a diagnosis to find yourself? Or is it when we surrender control that we discover joy? Perhaps it’s simply in the knowledge of who our God is that we find a thankful heart.

*not his real name